I’d forgotten how to be a student, how to study and allow the information to squash itself into my already full-of-bollocks brain. I’d also forgotten the horrendous anti-climax that seems to happen after every piece of work is completed and handed in, the sudden flatness of it all after the stress of word counting and editing. “To student” should be a verb – she students, I student etc because if I’m being honest, I’m not very good at studenting. OH! It should also be an adjective “she sat in her chair, trying but failing to student” and this would be a perfect explanation of what I’m doing now, or rather what I was trying to do before starting this bloody avoidance technique of blogging about how crap I am at studenting. My last essay and associated work was handed in on Wednesday giving me a whole 4 days off from learning stuff – but my tutor is now back from her holiday just as I am starting mine. The return of the tutor is the return of work, psychology work. This module is Cognitive Development (oh the irony) and is the second piece that will attract a grade that counts towards my final diploma grade. The last piece will also be graded, so now I just wait until it’s marked and hope all the work and effort and swearing I poured into it was enough and I get a solid pass…with Merit or Distinction. All my ungraded pieces would have been recommended for a Distinction so fingers crossed.
I am not a novice to Psychology, nor am I an expert. The last time I studied it was 14 years ago when I was working towards my A Levels – it was vile. So now this is all for a greater goal that is access to a degree course that I really want to be on; I should suck it up and accept that this is just something I have to do. My problem is I’m bored easily which I should just get over. I want to move onto the Biology modules, to immerse myself in a subject I know very little about and learn new things. Not to mention every time I think about my psychology I’m bricking it as I have an exam after the essay and self guided learning bit. I have exams for biology too but the biology is the prerequisite for the degree, 30 credits that need to be at Distinction. All. Of. Them. SHIT. Why am I so anxious to be starting these modules? Idiot.
It all comes down to the indisputable fact that I know I have to do the time, put the hours and get the grade. I know this beyond a doubt – I’m impatience personified. Instant gratification please, with a side of ego stroking. I’m not a natural student, facts and figures don’t just leak into my brain ready to be spewed out on demand. Not to mention I am so easily distracted (erm…this is evidence enough) and Husband just came into the study/office to see how well I was getting on. I minimised the blog and went back to working. And now I’m back. Ugh, will someone just invent something that makes it easy to study please? To make matters worse my phone died and so I have no music. The universe is conspiring against me, or maybe for me. Who knows. Either which way, writing this isn’t helping me learn about Piaget’s theory of cognitive development.
Laters. N.B never ever say laters again. You sound like an idiot. Idiot.
p.s. Ever realised that the more you have to do something, the more stuff you find to do instead? Yeah, last week while trying to write the essay I managed to do the following:
- fold laundry
- put more laundry in the machine
- feed the cat
- load the dishwasher
- straighten the door mat
- clip my toe nails
- open some post
- talk to the cat