*Early warning – this post will feature babies, baby stuff and hormones – feel free to leave now if you want*
Work was thrown majorly off track today and to be honest, it was no big deal. Friday isn’t the most productive of days anyway, even when the boss is in. I don’t slack off when she isn’t but today, neither of us were in the mood. Tired, hungry and none too thrilled about an 8.30am webex, we were having a bit of a diversion by looking for houses. Well, we were looking at the house my boss wants to buy and I was fantasising about ever having a house at all. Still, the dynamic works for us. There we were, tapping away, headsets loose and forgotten about when the tidal wave of diversion swept in through the door and onto the desk. A tidal wave of pink, polka dots and Minnie Mouse. It was, of course, a baby. A 3 week old, small, slightly flaky, delicious smelling bundle of baby girl. The smell would have been the same if it was a boy…I think.
Those of you that work in offices, open plan ones especially, will recognise the sound and abrupt collective rushing of air as women leave their seats to coo over the new baby of a colleague. I say women but I’m guessing there would be men who have an equally strong baby magnet when presented with a new baby. Likewise, I know lots of women and men who would run a mile in the opposite direction when faced with a small person, or are just not that bothered – horses for courses, or people for babies. I am firmly in the first camp – present a small baby and I’m over the desk quicker than an Olympic hurdler (with less grace I’ll admit). Today was such an occasion and between my boss and I, that baby was rocked and talked to, snuggled and admired, re-socked and squished. It wasn’t a random person’s baby though (I stop short of accosting people just to have a baby snuggle) but the first baby of one of the security guards at work and the grand-daughter of the Head of Security. They are a very secure family.
The first words from my boss’s mouth were “can we have a cuddle”, swiftly followed by “Congratulations!” I have a feeling it should have been the other way around but between us, the hormones took over and we were a little bit gaga by the new arrival. At three weeks old, she still had the delicious smell that only very fresh babies have; a mix of milk, clean skin and something that should Calvin Klein find out and decide to bottle it, he will never need to sell pants again. Intoxicated by this tiny person, I waltzed around, my arms filled with smallness and listened to her squeaking – she did sound a bit like a nervous guinea pig and I realised that while she wasn’t mine, there was something kicking around in my body that made an altogether louder noise. It was the sound of my ovaries clanging around and demanding that we have a baby. Right. NOW. Please. Thankfully, humans haven’t mastered the art of asexual reproduction, but oh baby do I want a baby. I want a baby more than anything (maybe even more than a pay rise). I was forced to relinquish the baby and hand her over to my boss as I had a meeting to go to (I do actually do some work) and floated down the stairs. I might have had a quick sniff of my shoulder where the baby had been snuggled into…I’m hoping no one saw me.
And while I do want a baby, more specifically, I want a baby with The Boy, I am happy to wait a bit longer. While I’m not the most traditional of women, I would like to do the baby thing when we are married (110 days to go…in case you wanted to know) and when I have been at my job for a good couple of years. Not because I think you have to be married to have a baby, not because I we couldn’t support a baby now but just because, in my head, I want to do it the “right” way round. That “right” way round is only the “right” way for The Boy and I – its how we have discussed it and how we are going to do it. On a very selfish note, I’m still loving having him to myself in our relationship and I know that when it is our time for a baby, things will change. What we thought was free time will change and I will have to “share” him with our baby. I don’t for one second imagine it will be easy or as rose-tinted as I think it will be so for now, I am content for my clanging ovaries and I to sneak a baby cuddle when we can. Not to mention, going back on birth control has sorted that “accidental” baby issue out. It will be our time. Just not yet.